Dramatic Return

Lightning rent the sky, the clouds were thick and rain lashed the air yet on the horizon the figure of a ship could be made out. Her captain standing proudly (and handsomely) at the helm, seeming no to notice the rain that stung his eyes or wind that whipped through his hair, as his ship finally made her way to harbour. Or at least that's what the locals of this country would have reported had they been writing this log... and had they been mad enough to be outside on such a day. The truth matters not, I cut an impressive figure as our ship finally made port after months at sea. My travels have taken me to more lands than I care to report, it would take more than a simple log entry to tell of our adventures. From the forests and swamps of South East Asia to the cites of Europe. I have seen little of my rivals, erm, I mean fellow pirates. My ship happened upon the commodore's at one point, and we got hideously drunk as always happens when in the company of that fin. Cpt. Stene has stolen my cabin boy, probably when she was distracting me with pictures of the most beautiful man in Japan ::ahem:: Am currently planning war on her vessel... although I'm not really sure Miyavi's worth it. I had to tell Hyde that I was plotting to take her stock of vodka, if he finds out this is because of a boy he may throw one of his hissy fits and start sabotaging things again. On that front he's been remarkably well behaved these days. He tried to claim that I'd planned on seeing Laiho's ship, but we were in the middle of the ocean... miles from civilization and communications... there was no way I could have arranged that. It was pure coincidence that two pirate ships would meet in the desolate stretch of water! The trail of messages left in bottles was a purely experimental process... in the name of nautical science. It proved a great success. The problem of overseas communication has been solved. The only problem is you never know who you're going to pick up.
After departing from Laiho's vessel (no Hyde that is not a euphemism) we headed back towards Asia. The European climate is just too much. The voyage was not a smooth one. There was a problem with the navigation system as soon as we left harbour. After days of sailing around with nothing but sea before us I eventually discovered that the problem arose because Mana had attempted to customise the compass, thus jamming the needle and rending pointing North, or any direction other than Mana's face, impossible. A new compass was found hidden deep in Die's... possessions. I have no idea why he has a compass... I don't think I want to know either. He just said it was for locating... I thought it best not to press what it was locating. Back on course... and for Singapore. After a brief liaison with Sao Feng and his crew we headed north to Malaysia. Apparently there is something here that might interest us... or so the Singaporeans told us. I am beginning to fear that this was a plot to get us off their area. Cowards... what happened to standing and fighting? Booty will be picked up here never the less. More than likely to be used for bargaining with the Europeans if our ship ever makes it's way back that way.
For now I think I will stay here. Reports from Japan say it's cold. I have had enough cold having to live in Europe for such a long time.
Alas I fear I must sign off, it has been a long time I know.

Cpt. M. S. C. Gackt

I was drunk, I was very drunk...

... At cunning Fjalar's; It's the best stumble when each gets home. Retaining sense and reason.

Captain Stene here.

A week ago, we set off from the Germanic Isles to the British ones. The fog near blinded us, and we almost turn round, and had Midwinter celebration in Norge. But, we had promised to attend a new years party by some mardy little hobbit... em I mean the great and feared Captain Filth.

The transport in the lands of Britannia are much less to be desired. It took my crew 4 hours to get inland. Luckily Meeves slept most of the way. Alas poor Simon could not sneak away! Damn that Commodore.

Whilst inland, I met my good friend of mine, and we went ice skating. And afterwards a Kitten prevented us from getting to our tarven in good time! But this is a Kitten! so allowances were made. I met Captain Gackt, who spent most of the evening looking at himself in a book. Vain bastard.

My tarven was invaded by the most frightful of Trolls for the past few days!! Not only did it eat all of the food, leaving my crew to fend for itself, ( NOT GOOD IDEA) But it keeps making comments in a lackluster fashion about pirates. Nothing wrong with my profession. I shall send the crew out to slaughter the Troll in the morning.

Soon, we will see Captain Filth. And I can not wait for some fun!

I depart and leave some words of wisdom..

Do not shun the mead, yet drink moderately. Speak sensibly or be silent. None will hold you to be uncivil if you retire to be early.

Capt. Filth Returns

Late.
As per usual.
I do apologise.

I am currently stuck at land, though my new ship should be made ready soon enough. My crew are all on an extended shore-leave, and I shall gather them as soon as is possible to set sail again for some form of randesvous.

Last ship was sunk by some ungodly monster just south of Norway. The fucker stank aswell, worst monster haletosis I've ever experienced!
Was rescued but some passing Dutch fishermen. On the surface they seemed rather agreeable, but I often caught them giggling, which seemed rather rude. "Zwaar metaal miniatuur". Not sure what that meant, but I don't like the way they said it!

Anyways, I'm away to finalise plans for the new ship. Not the grandest thing in the world, but it will suit us rather well. Me and Seaman Vittorio, that is.

Capt. Filth

Red Nightfall

Since my last log, many things have happened. We ascended on to the Finnish Isles in good time for the Christmas markets. Alas, an arising grievance of rage striked the crew, when Miyavi decided to take it upon himself, to spend a great deal of time and money on the local finnish delicacies. Unfortunatly, delicacies meant sweets. Sugar and the first mate meant an annoyed crew. In the end, I had him tied up and left below. He whined. He often does. Finland has done us well. But the merry days came to an end.

The journey backwards was a simple one. And we arrived in Germany.
We are now docked and awaiting the Commodore.

Still have not met the Cabin boy...

Oh shit! I forgot to untie Miyavi....

Captain V. Stene

These Seas Be Stormy - Commodore Alexi Laiho

My fellow captains, either we are experiencing high rolling seas tonight or I have had too much whisky again. Could be either.

Sincy my last log entry I have continued my battles with the Cantabrigian hordes and succeeded at last in subduing the lesser demons. Tomorrow we expect to sight their leader; it will prove to be an epic battle. Assuming the Bodom comes out unscathed we will then continue our journeys to rendezvous with Captain Stene with a brief call in the port of Lindum Colonia in order to disembark luggage. The crew have been behaving unusually well lately, particularly Cabin Boy Janne, and have been rewarded in light of the forthcoming Yule festivities with lost of meat, casks of mead and silly hats. Janne looks particularly fetching. Hmm.

Thankfully Hyde has not been troubling me, probably because my contact with Captain Gackt is now necessarily limited by the distance between our ships; I believe that Gackt also has him preparing for their return to Asian shores soon, when we Scandinavians find it too hot. But Gackt says that a Finnish winter is too much for his delicate sensibilities. And this from the man who owns crotch-splitters and claims to be over four hundred years old.

Little else to report; I and all the crew are looking forward to commencing the Yule parties with Captain Stene and her crew. I just hope Miyavi behaves himself...

Commodore Alexi Laiho

Lost at sea.

I will now divulge to you, my unfortunate readers, how we did not make it to Finland.

Wednesday morning; We made haste to the finnish lands, only to be hindered in our endeavours, by a vicious storm. A terrible storm, which made our ears bleed, it was so cold. But the ship held true, and we were okay, in a way. All of our sat nav, and communications devices were whipped out. However, I had faith in my navigator Dero. This man should not be left in charge of cheese!

But, Deros response to the situation, was to jump up and down on the same spot, flapping his arms like a madman, singing " Links, Rechts, Geraderaus, du kommst hier nichts heraus" ( left, right, straight on, you are leaving here) Causing a slight panic with the crew...

Miyavi went running around screaming about how he didn't want to die. He had so much more to give, and something about never getting to hold his Teddy again...


Mental Note, when we arrive in Finland, demote Dero to cabin boy.. promote cabin boy to navigator. Who is our cabin boy, do we have one.. We do! Why haven't I seen him? Or do I really not want an answer to this.. nevermind. Insert grumbles about being the only woman on board.


When lost at see what does one do?

DRINK. Tequlia party!


Saturday: Still lost, and recovering from party, I myself am fine. The others are less then shipshape.

We have no idea which direction to go, and I refuse to take Miyavi's advice of following the orange sunset... Apparantly, that is what Cptain Gackt would do, and for the upteenth time, I had to tell him, I am not Gackt. Talk about fan boy!! I pulled out my compass today, and told the men, Finland was in the north so we should just head north. Dero somehow disagrees. Mental note demote Dero to cabin cat, promote my kitten to cabin boy.. wait, no that would be regretable. Still haven't got around to actually meeting the cabin boy.

Sunday: We went due north... But to be hit again by at first what appeared to be a storm, when In fact was another vessel. From the ship, we could hear a horrible voice oozing over the sea! It reeked of Egotisim..


The winds picked up, and shook my boat. The waves were growing with such veroicty that, they could have torn the ship appart. The winterstorm was attacking. Quatermaster Tobias seemed to think shouting out that he about his cars and helicopter and NOTHING, would somehow help the situation...

"Tobi. Tobi!"
"HUH"
"Es gut jetzt"
"Gut"

When in this situation, there is nothing else for it.. Get the cannons.

A battle took place on the high seas, we fought for many hours but eventually were triumphant!

Monday: As luck would have it, we arrive safe and sound in Finland!


Captain V.Stene

Captain Stene returns.

After my departure from the Tristania vessel, I spent my time on land, in the small and secret town of Force majeure, the home of the pirate wench Doro. It was there, I was given time to reflect on my departure from my crew, and ultimatly I decided that it was the right thing to do. The bastards didn't appreciate all the things I did for them! I hear they have an carbon copy of Christina Scabbia leading them. Oh joys.



After much time onland, I have decided my efforts are better comanding a ship, then serving jäger to the whordes who inhabit Force Majeure. I was granted permission to a ship, and a crew by the true queen of Piracy Doro, under the instruction that I was to show no mercy to anyone who sails under a Tarja flag!



With my new crew, I left the German coast, just before the north winds brought snow. I set sail towards Finland, to pick a few left behind, and some bounty. And of course an old friend ,Satyr. My first mate is a colourful fellow to say the least. His name is Miyavi, and he keeps telling me over and over again, this vital piece of information. I told him to shut up and go play outside.. this resulted in a Miyavi overboard.. now he is sick with a cold and is wrapped up warm in his bed. Well, at least he is quiet.



As the ship is not a dictator ship, ( i hope u liked the joke.) I have allowed a quatermaster to be elected. His name is Tobias and so far has distracted me with his most awesome of awesome coats! I suspect he used this tactics on the men, but he poses no threat for mutiny, so I will not worry. Also, my cook has shaved off half of his hair before boarding. I took one look at him and burst into tears of laughter, but his boyfriend, 'Die' has explained they are on the run from the Japanese yakuza, so have adopted a disguise. Apparantly Toshi called the small strawberry lolita hating leader of the yakuza 'cute'.

That is all for now. We make haste to Finland!

Captain. V. Stene!

Once Again Upon the High Seas - Commodore Alexi Laiho

My fellow Captains (etc.), I decided that life was boring without the regular sharing of our nautical adventures, and so I've set up a new and hopefully universal Captains' Log to solve the problem.

The good ship Bodom rendezvous'd with Captain Gackt and his crew over the last couple of days. It was a good time, although I still have problems with Hyde; he suspended increasing numbers of fish outside my porthole every day, which caused some issues for Cabin Boy Janne, because he really likes fish and kept trying to jump up and catch them. A good deal of spirits were consumed, a recipe we got from America but we suspect may have originated somewhere in Ireland or Scotland, and a good time was had by all, although of course there was some emotional overwroughtness; a reliving of the past travails of life upon the waves, some old comrades I miss from my days in Finland, things like that. Attempting to subdue the tribes of the Cantabrigians who are rising regularly from the sea in front of the Bodom in alarming strength is taking up a good deal of my time otherwise, and I have to attend to that business presently...

Commodore Alexi Laiho