The return of the Norskmen..

Greetings..

The last months have been difficult. After a small talk with the mirror stalker known as Gackt, I decided to return Miyavi. Not that he was happy with it! He wanted to stay with tall people. And once he had returned to Gackt, he got married, and got his wife knocked up. I think he did it out of spite, now Gackt has to deal with a woman, and a baby! HAHA

As for me, and mine. We sailed to Japan to find a replacement. This was turblant. We were hi-jacked by a dirty old finn. (relation of Alexi?) he somehow came aboard out ship, and demanded our alcohol. The norsk and I were perplexed. In the end the idiot Dero gave him a bottle of rum! This was his downfall!! He got drunk, demanded to watch Planet of the apes, and accused me of hitting on him. Satyr decided to assert his masculinty and throw him off bord. Thus all was well, but we were an week off course. I have decided to invest in a plane. But soon we arrived in Tokyo Japan.

Once in Tokyo, I demanded all the men take a bath. What is it with men and the lack of showering! Alexi explain this to me!!! But in the end, I found a replacement meeves... Well, when I said A replacment, I mean two. ( What! I couldnt choose!) So I asked Hitsugi (nightmare) and Gara (merri) to be my cabin boys. Both of them wanted a chance to see the world.

So, on the way back to our base in Germany, the journey was faily smooth. At last I can out drink people! Both Gara who is the size of a six year old girl, and Hitsugi who is shorter then me, both got hammered on 4 beers! I DID NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE!! but I am loving the peace and quiet of life without.. ARE WE THERE YET, ARE WE THERE YET.... I hope Gackt appreciates this..

Capt V Stene

Aboard the Bodom

We've had a couple of months of rough seas aboard the Bodom.

Although our strategic retreat from the Cantabrigians was timely and necessary, it's left my crew with the problem of being stranded with only each other's company a lot of the time. That's mostly fine - we like each other - but there are fights breaking out (mostly over Tuomas' Dark Chest of Wonders) and the claustrophobia gets intense sometimes.

That said, we've had some excellent outings with Captain Gackt and met a very disturbing man in leather pants who just called himself Q, been to the land of the French and been injuired and abused by Captain Friden, who talked a lot about Catholic schoolgirls, and met a man in a hat who said he was The Doctor.

More to come when I am sober.

Commodore Alexi Laiho

A Strategic Retreat

Okay, first, it's great to see you back Captain Filth and Captain Gackt. The entrance was impressive, Gackt. Hyde left a stonefish in my boot though, could you please ask him not to?

Plenty to update on; I've collected a whole load of new crew, notably Simon and Markus from Zonaria (the pretty Swedish boys), and I was also joined by Tuomas and Marco when the Night Wish ran aground against the forces of The Thing That Should Not Be. They are all very good company. I also rescued Satyr from the island that Captain Abbath marooned him on and gave him to Captain Stene as a goodwill present, and now we have a sort of arrangement. Cough. All I am saying is that I am happy to share most of them but I am keeping my cabin boy very firmly where he belongs at all times (i.e. my cabin). Incidentally I keep finding very odd pictures of myself floating around the place. Some of them are... interesting. And most of them, for some reason, seem to feature me with wet hair (or general just-post-showeredness) and I have no idea why.

Due to ill health (going mad) I'm being forced to make a temporary strategic withdrawal from the lands of the Cantabrigians I've been fighting through, on and off, for the last couple of years; they are increasingly formidable enemies and I don't stand a chance of winning through to the final bosses until I'm better. I don't fancy another suicide attempt; that time between Something Wild and Hatebreeder taught me a few things. So maybe I'll see Captain Gackt and Captain Filth more? And Captain Stene, when you dock in the country, anyway.

Now I have to go and sort out official landing permits and stuff. Ugh.

Commodore Alexi Laiho